Week Three: Bruce Almighty!
Holy crap, Survivor is amazing. You have to understand, i haven't always been a fan. I used to loathe the show and cringe even at the mention of its name. Then, as a joke I got into it a few seasons ago, threw all caution to the wind during All-Stars and am now primed for what could possibly be the best survivor season ever. There, i've said it. Now I know i'm getting ahead of myself, but with week three in the books, the moons are aligning in just the right way for a terrific season. Here are a few highlights from the episode as proof:
La Mina, La Pinta, La Santa Maria:
La Mina, roughtly translated into English as "The Mina" consists of Austin, Dan, Nick, Ruth Marie, Sally, Terry, and Misty. Out of all of these competitors, I don't hate any of them. Sure, the younger guys seem to be lacking in general personality and differentiation, but they haven't done anything wrong yet. This is big. Terry "The Air Up There" Dietz is tremendous and singlehandedly brought home the reward challenge. J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. It should also be noted that the reward challenge looked extremely fun (jumping off a beam into the water to catch slingshot launched Koosh balls) and once again has me preparing to videotape myself for next season's auditions. The only annoying bit about La Mina is Misty, and frankly, NOT A PROBLEM! Having lost the immunity challenge (see below), Misty the would be flirt was quickly voted out of the tribe, leaving Michelle Pfeifer lookalike Ruth Marie just out of harms way.
Casaya:
Aras, Bobby, Bruce, Shane, Cirie, Courtney, Danielle. Ok. That's the fam. Casaya has just enough hate-ems to make me know who I want out, but more than enough love-ems to make me root for them. Courtney is worse than I predicted and hopefully will demand to be sent home in the near future. Cirie is completely expendable, which is great in case a vote is necessary, and Danielle is solely there for the eye candy as far as I can see. So here are some more points leading to a great season:
-Danielle: I have no never had any idea how to tell real boobs from fake boobs. Having said that, Danielle is on the island solely for her fake boobs, and the popping out incident at immunity this week is only the first of a long line of blurred images we should expect to see on a weekly basis.
-Shane: Up until this week, I didn't know what to do with this guy, but you know what? I love him. Shane is that insane heroine, rock-star uncle you didn't know existed until he jacked the DJ's turntables at your Bar-Mitzvah. That doesn't ring true? Ok, then he's Tommy Lee like I said before. The dude quit smoking to be on the island, so he's going crazy, plus I get the feeling he was always crazy, PLUS COURTNEY IS DRIVING HIM CRAZY! The Shane Craze is all I could have hoped, as this week he laid claim to a rock. "Shane's Thinking Rock" he announced, and asked if he could have this rock all to himself. Inexplicably, Courtney had to ask why only he could sit on it, leading into a rant by Shane including "WHY CANT THIS BE MY ROCK! I JUST WANT THIS ROCK! WHY CANT I HAVE THIS ROCK! WHY CANT I HAVE MY ROCK! DO YOU WANT THE ROCK! FINE! HAVE THE ROCK!" This proves that even without heroine, a band, and Pamela Anderson, Shane will never ever give up "the rock."
-BRUCE!!! Bruce is my God. There I said it. After three days on exile island, Bruce returned to camp, showed everyone that he could do everything, purified water for the whole tribe, and then was quickly selected by La Mina to be sent back to exile island for another three days during torrential downpours. And ya know what? He's still gonna dominate. Fact: The secret of Exile Island is a trick. Bruce IS the immunity idol. Fact: Bruce once karate-chopped a whole in the universe just so he had a place to store all his karate trophies. Fact: Bruce beat The Wiz.
Finally: The Immunity Challenge
Oh so much to say here. First of all, I've been waiting for a challenge like this for a long time. Physical challenges can be more than sliding down an oversized plaster nose to grab a red flag. They can also be bastions of survivor glory like this week's immunity challenge. Groups were sent to wrestle and battle each other on their way to digging up a sand bag and bringing it back to their circle for a point. Three points won. With such a stacked physical group, it's about time survivor let out the big dogs. Seeing Bobby battling Terry battling Danielle was incredible. Even scrawny Dan got in on the action, letting lose his astronaut kung fu to battle off even the tiniest of women. Aras busted out an alleged "yoga move" as Probst called it, to force an opponent's leg to release allowing him to bring back the bag. I do believe, however, that the minute Aras used a yoga move, Bruce should have been allowed to use a karate move. People kept shouting, "Bruce, use your karate" in incredibly non-karate oriented moments, like to tackle a guy from behind or to run faster, when he should have been free to unleash his duel powered hand cannons of fury on Austin, Nick, and Misty. Still, the battle was well fought and the finale was even better.
The final point of the immunity challenge was socially and culturally amazing. Ruth Marie grabbed the sand bag and bolted back towards her circle for what would be the winning point. The only one able to chase her down was Bobby. This led to the smallest, oldest, whitest white woman gripping the bag and sprinting desperately towards safety with a panicked expression on her face while being chased by the biggest, blackest man on the island. Meanwhile, the entire team is screaming GO BOBBY! GO BOBBY! GO BOBBY! This is the only time you will ever see a big black man chasing down a small white woman and hear people cheering on the black man. And I think it set off some innate cultural (not racist, but socialized) reaction in people watching at home. My girlfriend started screaming GO RUTH, RUN, RUN, RUN! at the television even though she didn't really care who won the competition. I started feeling uncomfortable and getting nervous for Ruth to get to the finish line. Maybe it was the panicked look on her face, but I swear that if you look at Bobby, even he knew what was up. You can see the "Oh shit, even I'M feeling uncomfortable about this" face. He seemed to be running about 50% and definitely pulled up when he realized America was about to watch a 250 pound black man tackle a 100 pound white woman from behind. That's just too many variables people aren't comfortable with. Instead, he slowed down and at the last instand grabbed her shirt and casually tossed her into his circle to win the challenge for his team. It was an amazing challenge with an even more interesting ending, and that's more than you can say for Deal or No Deal.
So those are where the chips lie as week four approaches. This season has all the makings of a great one, and I'm in it for the long haul. Between Bruce Almighty, Everybody Loves Austin, Fleeing Ruth Marie, The Crazy Shane (Woo! Woo! Alll aboard!), Fucking Courtney (I just hate her), and yes, between Courtney's to be named laters, I'm ready for anything. Until next week, keep on keepin' on.
Witz
La Mina, La Pinta, La Santa Maria:
La Mina, roughtly translated into English as "The Mina" consists of Austin, Dan, Nick, Ruth Marie, Sally, Terry, and Misty. Out of all of these competitors, I don't hate any of them. Sure, the younger guys seem to be lacking in general personality and differentiation, but they haven't done anything wrong yet. This is big. Terry "The Air Up There" Dietz is tremendous and singlehandedly brought home the reward challenge. J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. It should also be noted that the reward challenge looked extremely fun (jumping off a beam into the water to catch slingshot launched Koosh balls) and once again has me preparing to videotape myself for next season's auditions. The only annoying bit about La Mina is Misty, and frankly, NOT A PROBLEM! Having lost the immunity challenge (see below), Misty the would be flirt was quickly voted out of the tribe, leaving Michelle Pfeifer lookalike Ruth Marie just out of harms way.
Casaya:
Aras, Bobby, Bruce, Shane, Cirie, Courtney, Danielle. Ok. That's the fam. Casaya has just enough hate-ems to make me know who I want out, but more than enough love-ems to make me root for them. Courtney is worse than I predicted and hopefully will demand to be sent home in the near future. Cirie is completely expendable, which is great in case a vote is necessary, and Danielle is solely there for the eye candy as far as I can see. So here are some more points leading to a great season:
-Danielle: I have no never had any idea how to tell real boobs from fake boobs. Having said that, Danielle is on the island solely for her fake boobs, and the popping out incident at immunity this week is only the first of a long line of blurred images we should expect to see on a weekly basis.
-Shane: Up until this week, I didn't know what to do with this guy, but you know what? I love him. Shane is that insane heroine, rock-star uncle you didn't know existed until he jacked the DJ's turntables at your Bar-Mitzvah. That doesn't ring true? Ok, then he's Tommy Lee like I said before. The dude quit smoking to be on the island, so he's going crazy, plus I get the feeling he was always crazy, PLUS COURTNEY IS DRIVING HIM CRAZY! The Shane Craze is all I could have hoped, as this week he laid claim to a rock. "Shane's Thinking Rock" he announced, and asked if he could have this rock all to himself. Inexplicably, Courtney had to ask why only he could sit on it, leading into a rant by Shane including "WHY CANT THIS BE MY ROCK! I JUST WANT THIS ROCK! WHY CANT I HAVE THIS ROCK! WHY CANT I HAVE MY ROCK! DO YOU WANT THE ROCK! FINE! HAVE THE ROCK!" This proves that even without heroine, a band, and Pamela Anderson, Shane will never ever give up "the rock."
-BRUCE!!! Bruce is my God. There I said it. After three days on exile island, Bruce returned to camp, showed everyone that he could do everything, purified water for the whole tribe, and then was quickly selected by La Mina to be sent back to exile island for another three days during torrential downpours. And ya know what? He's still gonna dominate. Fact: The secret of Exile Island is a trick. Bruce IS the immunity idol. Fact: Bruce once karate-chopped a whole in the universe just so he had a place to store all his karate trophies. Fact: Bruce beat The Wiz.
Finally: The Immunity Challenge
Oh so much to say here. First of all, I've been waiting for a challenge like this for a long time. Physical challenges can be more than sliding down an oversized plaster nose to grab a red flag. They can also be bastions of survivor glory like this week's immunity challenge. Groups were sent to wrestle and battle each other on their way to digging up a sand bag and bringing it back to their circle for a point. Three points won. With such a stacked physical group, it's about time survivor let out the big dogs. Seeing Bobby battling Terry battling Danielle was incredible. Even scrawny Dan got in on the action, letting lose his astronaut kung fu to battle off even the tiniest of women. Aras busted out an alleged "yoga move" as Probst called it, to force an opponent's leg to release allowing him to bring back the bag. I do believe, however, that the minute Aras used a yoga move, Bruce should have been allowed to use a karate move. People kept shouting, "Bruce, use your karate" in incredibly non-karate oriented moments, like to tackle a guy from behind or to run faster, when he should have been free to unleash his duel powered hand cannons of fury on Austin, Nick, and Misty. Still, the battle was well fought and the finale was even better.
The final point of the immunity challenge was socially and culturally amazing. Ruth Marie grabbed the sand bag and bolted back towards her circle for what would be the winning point. The only one able to chase her down was Bobby. This led to the smallest, oldest, whitest white woman gripping the bag and sprinting desperately towards safety with a panicked expression on her face while being chased by the biggest, blackest man on the island. Meanwhile, the entire team is screaming GO BOBBY! GO BOBBY! GO BOBBY! This is the only time you will ever see a big black man chasing down a small white woman and hear people cheering on the black man. And I think it set off some innate cultural (not racist, but socialized) reaction in people watching at home. My girlfriend started screaming GO RUTH, RUN, RUN, RUN! at the television even though she didn't really care who won the competition. I started feeling uncomfortable and getting nervous for Ruth to get to the finish line. Maybe it was the panicked look on her face, but I swear that if you look at Bobby, even he knew what was up. You can see the "Oh shit, even I'M feeling uncomfortable about this" face. He seemed to be running about 50% and definitely pulled up when he realized America was about to watch a 250 pound black man tackle a 100 pound white woman from behind. That's just too many variables people aren't comfortable with. Instead, he slowed down and at the last instand grabbed her shirt and casually tossed her into his circle to win the challenge for his team. It was an amazing challenge with an even more interesting ending, and that's more than you can say for Deal or No Deal.
So those are where the chips lie as week four approaches. This season has all the makings of a great one, and I'm in it for the long haul. Between Bruce Almighty, Everybody Loves Austin, Fleeing Ruth Marie, The Crazy Shane (Woo! Woo! Alll aboard!), Fucking Courtney (I just hate her), and yes, between Courtney's to be named laters, I'm ready for anything. Until next week, keep on keepin' on.
Witz
posted by Witz at 9:37 PM
1 Comments:
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